Years ago, as I shared my journey of exploring the sacred feminine with my grandfather, I said to him, “I am building a whole new relationship with God. One that sees HER with so many feminine qualities.”

“HER.”

The word jolted me. It was the first time I had spoken it out loud and it felt incredibly awkward. After years of spiritual deconstruction, studying feminism, and exploring the sacred feminine, I still couldn’t comfortably use female pronouns to describe the Divine.

I asked myself, “Why? Why did I feel uncomfortable when I used female pronouns and why did I not feel the same way when I used male pronouns?”

I didn’t like the answer. 

I realized that as hard as I had worked to release myself from the oppression of patriarchy, it still had its grip on me. I, the feminist, was still more comfortable upholding a system that harms so many.

That jolt awakened me, and it led me to examine the hidden ways that the patriarchy holds women back and destroys our world. 

So, what is “the patriarchy”?

According to Wikipedia, “Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property.”

In other words, it’s a society designed for men to thrive.

And when a society is built on favoring one group, it ends up oppressing others.

Now, I’m not insinuating that men are bad. There are wonderful men in this world who have greatly contributed to our society. What I am suggesting is that our world desperately needs balance.

We have fallen out of alignment with who we truly are. We have forgotten that we are all sacred beings. 

If we want to bring peace and healing to our world, we must enter a new paradigm where the female and male qualities of the Divine are equally expressed and embraced. We are going to have to encourage the sacred feminine to rise within us all. 

To do this, we must examine our beliefs. 

We live in an oppressive society and the rules governed by this society have seeped into our belief system leading us to believe that the limitations placed on us define who we are.

We, as women, have been taught to believe that we are not enough, that we lose value as we age, that we should look and act a certain way, that it is dangerous to speak up and to be different. As a result, we play small, hide within conformity, dim our light, and suppress our dreams. 

Our lives have lost their luster because we have lost ourselves to these beliefs.

It’s time we unravel these lies because we are capable of SO much more than what we’ve been told or allowed ourselves to be. When we release the lies and discover the truth of who we are, life will be renewed. 

In other words, the life you truly desire is on the other side of patriarchal beliefs.

Reclaim the Sacred Feminine by Shedding these 7 Beliefs

I’ve listed seven common patriarchal beliefs that have held far too many women back. These beliefs must be shed if we are to live our best lives and create a healthy planet for all beings. 

Beliefs to shed…

1. Doubt your intuition

Your intuition is the voice of the Divine. 

Your intuition is connected to your infinite wisdom. Your intuition has access to knowledge from the past, present, and future that your human brain can’t comprehend. 

Your intuition is your superpower.

Patriarchy has feared women’s innate ability to sense what others are feeling without speaking a single word. So, you were told that your intuition cannot be trusted. You were told that your intuition can misguide you. 

The truth is, your intuition is NEVER wrong and is ALWAYS guiding you to your highest good.

Strengthening your ability to discern and hear your inner voice takes practice, but over time, you can learn to rely on her to guide you through your life.

TIP:   Start by spending time in silence and listening to your inner voice. Reflect on the times you heard her loud and clear. What did her voice sound like? Feel like? 

Keep a journal tracking your intuition – Think back on your day when your intuition guided you one way, and rather than following, you chose another path. Perhaps you listened to the opinion of others rather than your inner voice. What happened? What did this show you? Notice how you felt when you followed your intuition and when you didn’t.

2. You are behind in life

Society teaches us that we (especially women) lose our value as we age. As a result, we rush to achieve everything we hope to accomplish in life when we are in our 20’s and 30’s. When we don’t meet those unrealistic expectations, we feel behind.

Here’s the truth – your dreams don’t stop in your 20’s and 30’s AND you are perfectly on time.

You are not too old and you did not miss your opportunity.

You have an infinite number of opportunities with your name on them.

When you are feeling behind, ask yourself, “When I am on my deathbed and look back on my life, will I care if I started following my dreams at 39, 49, 59, or 69+?”

The answer will likely be, NO. 

TIP:   It doesn’t matter when you start. It simply matters that you start. Take one step today towards your dreams and then take another step tomorrow.

3. If you stand out, you will be judged

Patriarchy has taught us that anything that’s different should be feared. Worse…destroyed.

Deep within us bears the memories of women being burned at the stake for speaking up, healing others, talking to animals, being different, and reading books. 

In order to survive, we learned to conform and hide our gifts. We knew that if we shined our light, others would notice, and being noticed was deadly.

We carry a similar fear within us today. We fear speaking up, pursuing our dreams, coloring outside of the lines, saying the wrong thing, and showing the world who we truly are. We fear being judged, scorned, rejected, and abandoned. This feels like death to us. 

But something is shifting. Can you hear it? Feel it? It’s a stirring, a whisper, a remembering from deep within reminding you of who you are and who you came here to be.

TIP:   You possess everything within you to move through your fear and towards a true expression of your sacred self. If you doubt this truth, reflect on previous challenges in your life, and examine what you gained from those experiences. Did you discover your strength and courage? Did people or resources show up and help you through your challenge? Did you survive your worst challenges? Reflecting on your answers will help you see that you are fully equipped to thrive in life.

4. The sacred feminine is weird

What comes up for you when you hear the phrase, “sacred feminine”?

If you’re anything like me when I first heard the phrase, I thought it was weird. I thought it was weird because it was different. And as I previously mentioned, patriarchy teaches us to fear anything that is different. 

The sacred feminine – the feminine qualities of the Divine – feels unfamiliar because she has been hidden for many years. 

The patriarchy believes that the Divine only possesses male qualities and so it has suppressed the sacred feminine.

The sacred feminine lives within all of us, women AND men.

For too long we’ve denied this part of ourselves, and because of that, our world has become painfully imbalanced. 

To bring healing to ourselves and the world, we must love and celebrate the feminine qualities of the Divine that we too possess.

Does this mean that we deny the sacred masculine who also lives within us? No! We must seek to find balance, not dominion, and own the fullness of who we are. 

Embrace the part of yourself that has been long-denied. Fall in love with the sacred feminine that is within you. 

TIP:   Take a walk outdoors and observe all of the ways you see the Divine expressed in the feminine. What qualities do you also embody? After your walk, write a gratitude list for all of the sacred feminine qualities that both you and the Divine possess.

5. Judge your sister

“The connections between and among women are the most feared…and the most potentially transforming force on the planet.” Adrienne Rich

On the new moon of every month, women used to menstruate at the same time. They’d gather in moon tents and celebrate being a woman. Elders passed down their wisdom to younger generations and taught girls how to be women.

Over time, the patriarchy felt threatened by these gatherings. Women who met in groups were accused of witchcraft and were either burned at the stake or drowned. Women were taught to be suspicious of each other – to fear each other. The bond we once had with each other was broken.

Remnants of this history stir within us when we judge, criticize, gossip about, compare ourselves to, and doubt our sisters. 

If you feel exhausted from pushing against other women, it’s because your soul is craving communion with other females. 

TIP:   When you begin to feel negative feelings towards another woman…PAUSE. Rather than judge another, pray for her success, and acknowledge how grateful you are for her. You may even want to write her a note of encouragement just for her being her.

6. There is something wrong with you if you are single

When I tell people I am single, I usually hear: “Have you ever had a long-term relationship? How long were those relationships? Do you want to get married?” 

I can hear them trying to make sense of why I am single. Is she capable of having a relationship? Is something wrong with her? Why isn’t she married?

I don’t let this bother me anymore because I see that just like me, they too have adopted patriarchal beliefs. There’s a cultural stigma of women being single.

Remember the definition of patriarchy? 

“Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property.”

In other words, without a husband, a woman is able to own property and hold her own power.

While we have come a long way from the notion that men should control their women and only men should own property, we cannot deny that some of these sentiments still exist. We experience this when we judge ourselves for not being in a relationship, for feeling like something is wrong with us if we don’t have a partner, for trying to improve ourselves to attract a mate, and for feeling the need to explain why nothing is wrong with us when we are single.

TIP:   If you are single, celebrate it! Celebrate you! Cultivate self-love and fall in love with yourself. This may sound cliché, but loving yourself is the most magical and fulfilling thing you can do for yourself. 

And to those of you who aren’t single…please be more conscious with your questions when someone tells you they are single. 

7. Only humans have souls

Look into the eyes of your beloved dog or cat. What do you see? Do you see a soul?

Look into the eyes of a bird, a butterfly, a beetle. What do you see? Do you see a soul?

Indigenous traditions that began far before the patriarchal systems we know today, taught that all living beings have souls. 

We have each come to this earth with a purpose – to be a unique expression of the Divine. 

Patriarchy has taught us that only humans have souls – that we are the only beings on this planet connected to God. And because of that, we have dominion over EVERYTHING.

The crisis that we are facing today environmentally, politically, socially stems from us not treating all beings as sacred. 

You have the power to change the world by embracing the divinity in others. When you begin to see all beings as sacred, you will treat them as such, inspiring the people around you to do the same.  

Tip:   At the end of each day, write down how you saw the divinity in others. When you begin the practice of looking for the sacredness in all beings, you’ll start to see evidence of their divinity without even searching for it!

A Final Note!

Awareness creates change. When you become aware of your thoughts and catch them the moment they enter your mind, you can immediately transform them. Now that you are aware of the limiting beliefs that patriarchy has fed you, you can begin to transform those beliefs. Your inner transformation will create outer transformation, benefitting not just your life but all life.

Additional Resources:

• Sacred Feminine Guide (Instagram)
• Sacred Self (Private Coaching w/Jennifer Whitaker)